Stigmatised and misunderstood

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I am a Muslim and I believe in Allah and that the devil does exist. Good and bad magic exist too. People can get possessed, doing bad things, thinking it normal, or maybe not thinking at all. Black magic can cause madness, where the devil isn’t needed. It is mentioned in the Qur’an that magic was taught to man by two angels. Giving us the power to cause dissension between husband and wife. Names are the basis of magic done to someone. And the names of the magician or the devil are needed to remove the effects of their evil. Yet the damage definitely remains, if ever to heal.

Mental illness can happen without any magic or possession. Drugs or trauma can cause it. Fear and pent up rage too.

When there is a parasite in your mind, it works like two or three minds in one. The infection spreads, consuming your rationality and recognition of self. Obviously, your mind cannot bear it with the presence of voices. Through my experience I have found that psychotropic medication does curb voices, but it also attacks your own mind too, as there is your own voice and the parasite. So, due to the definite similarity, the medication stops the voices; your own and the ‘intruders’.

As people who experience mental problems change, others see someone else and can’t figure out who you are compared to who you were. As you’re battling the voices raging in your mind, they don’t understand your suffering. They see something horrific. For they’ve never really experienced it. There becomes a barrier between you and society. You start to isolate feeling stigmatized by everyone.  When I first experienced voices, I thought it was a gift, but after a while it felt like the opposite as I felt my mind dying. As the voices manifested, my own voice in my mind sounded like someone else, compressed. I didn’t give it much notice back then (that the voices were vamping my thoughts). I’ve suffered from schizophrenia for 16 years.

Say someone has cancer, there is such sadness and pity for the ill. But people don’t realize how bad mental illness is. You slowly lose you mind, you lose yourself. You start to feel nothing, becoming like someone with autism eventually. But unlike the autistic this eventual disability is new and will be extremely painful. Life becomes just like death!

When people find out you’re mentally ill, the first thing they think to do is run a mile or two. It’s very hard to make new friends, when your old friends already left. People don’t see you as human, less than an animal. Many places practice horrible things to the mentally ill. There used to be lobotomy here in the UK even in the sixties, there’s also shock treatment. Both of them are very painful I suspect.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. I learnt about lobotomy watching an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Carlton said I’d rather have a lobotomy but he obviously didn’t mean it. Thanks for writing.

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